OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
