She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
