Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
