If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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