When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I didn't notice because vodka
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
