i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize