pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
