dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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