I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
