The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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