i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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