they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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