I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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