Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
