can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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