I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I AM VODKA MAN
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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