You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
