she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
