i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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