You're my little dorito
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
why do cheetos always look like penises
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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