thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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