I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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