im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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