found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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