My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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