Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Girls should come with a carfax report
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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