you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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