I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
