69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
