Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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