is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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