Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
