he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
