So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
