When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
