your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
