he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
