I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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