if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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