Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
