She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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