Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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