i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize