I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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