Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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