Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
