ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
