Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
