I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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