called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
