I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
