If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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