pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
barbara walters just said penis...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize