If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
