went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
