Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
