why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
