take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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