your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
