And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
do nipples grow back?
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