So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
