i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
