Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
My balls are so social today.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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