At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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