How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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