is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
