Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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