This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
