I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
