Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
